Sunday, December 30, 2012

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
 Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength:" Isaiah 26:3-4



I guess what Im about share may at first contradict what the verse above says...I want to share my heart just a little bit right now and whats going on in my spiritual life. Im not saying what I am about to say to be like, "Hey look at me...im going through a rough spiritual time." No, in fact, Im hoping this may actually be a blessing.
 
As Christians, we all struggle with our Spiritual life...I know I do. We all struggle with different things. Some may struggle with having a walk with God, and having that connection with Him. Some may struggle in he area of getting Gods Word out to others. Some may stuggle with the growth in their Christian life.
 
Have you ever just not cared about the things of the Lord? You see your Bible sitting there on the dresser and you know you need to read it, but you purposely don't read it?  Yes, that's me. Thats been me for about a month.  I know I need to do something...but...I just have "given up". But, have I really? If I have "given up" why do I everyday say in the back of my head, "Cassie don't forget to read your Bible" I said I don't care right?? But I must.
 
I know that I am saved. I know that God has done so many things for me in my life that I just dont deserve. You may say then, "Cassie how can you have a "cold heart" if you know God is there for you and loves you?" Ask yourself that question the next time you go through a situation like this. Ask yourself that question the next time you say to God, "God, dont you hear me? Your not listening..Are you there?"
 
My hearts desire, even though Im in a spiritual down fall (I guess), is to find the Joy and fire for Gods Word like I used to. Ive gotten to the point to where when I hear a message or a chapel message,  I don't hear God speaking to me or I don't feel the Lords presence. Oh how I long for that. I do. I want to see the Lord continue to work in my life. But...in order to do that I must seek the Lord.
 
"When you pull back it is natural to get cold. MAKE yourself read, pray and witness. Do something for others. Don't think of what you are not doing, but pickup where you are and give time to Him. The devil is a liar and a deceiver. Don't listen to his garbage. You will be fine. Take 15 minutes and read. Write down blessings, etc." - Mrs. Jojo Moffit shared this with me tonight. Not just her but many of my friends...They are all right. All I want to do is throw in the towel, and just give up and yet...I can't...

...I have to keep pressing on...I do. I want to take that step, but I can't do it a lone. I need God. I need that PUSH! I want the desire and excitement to go on my bus route and soul win. I want the desire back and joy to read my Bible and spend time with God. I can't looking at the mistakes Ive made...i can't keep dwelling on what I have or have not done...I can't do it because it keeps pushing me farther and farther down.

I can't and I won't...I am determining now that I have to keep pressing on and looking to God. I need the Lord in my life. HE has brought me this far, and He will carry me on. Im reaching out my hand to Him. What's in the past is in the past. I just want to please the LORD. I really do. So," Satan, i need you to get out of my life and get the snot out of here. I hate you." God has been good. He has given me a wonderful family, wonderful church, wonderful friends, a good life. God has given me so much to be thankful for.

If you ar reading this, please pray that I will continue to keep my eyes on the Lord, and to follow His leading and guidance. I want God to continue to use me for His glory and honor. I want CHRIST TO BE NUMBER ONE IN MY LIFE FOR NOW ON.
 

Saturday, August 11, 2012

All Along...Gods Hands Have Been Guiding Me

Hyles-Anderson College

I can't believe it!!! In just 17 more days, I will be stepping onto campus as a second semester freshman at Hyles-Anderson College! I have to say, there defiantly have been a lot of emotions going on for me. At first I'm super excited, then I get a little nervous, then back to excited...As you can see, its mixed emotions! Ha! Just here recently, the feeling and emotion of, "Cassie, you have 17 days left" have really made me...sad...Ha, I don't know why. But its okay to feel that way, as long as we (I) don't dwell on that one feeling!

Hyles-Anderson College...I remember three years ago (2009) when my parents told me that I wouldn't be going back to Bob Jones University for my schooling. I was upset and was determined to go back, no matter what it took. You want to know what I learned from that experience? When God isn't in it, your not going anywhere.It took me a few months, but I finally accepted the fact that it wasn't Gods will for me to go back there. In the mean time, I had church family come up to me and say, "hey maybe you should attend Hyles-Anderson College (HAC)." When people would say that, I would smile and say, "maybe..." and in the inside, I was saying "I will never go there. I don't want to go where everyone else is going. People there are so stuck up..." Funny thing is, I was judging the school, before I ever got there...

I remember how God began working in my heart in 2010 about the school. I remember a guy preaching at our church, and the whole time He is preaching God was asking me, "are you going to give me all of you?" I kept thinking in my head, "what are you talking about..." As I sat through the message, Hyles-Anderson kept going through my head. It was like God trying to ask me and He was, "So if I called you to that school will you go?" Well...in 17 days, I am happy to say I will be a student there. God has defiantly brought me through a lot to show me that this is where He wants me to go. I remember back in 2011 having a meeting with my Sunday school teacher about going to college and what I need to do. He told me to write down a few colleges, pray about it and then come back to him. Ha, what do you think I did? I put HAC on the bottom and Bob Jones up on the top. I thought if HAC was on the bottom that God would never call me there...Well, in the same time as all of this is happening, a family in my church invited me to attend their sons graduation with them. Where? Hyles-Anderson College. I was about to give a lame excuse why I couldn't go, but instead, I prayed..."Lord if I am supposed to go, I pray that the people at work will allow me to go." They said, "Yes". That trip opened my eyes, and I knew after that trip that God wanted me there. The night of my friends graduation, I remember sitting i my seat watching them graduate and tears rolling down my face. In my head I began to pray, "Lord, I know this is where you want me. I am yours and I will go". I remember coming home and telling my preacher and how excited He was for me!!!

I wanted to go to school that fall ('11). I again tried to do everything in my power to get myself there, and nothing was going right. I was sad and depressed. I was confused and always worrying. I remember talking with my preacher and parents. My preacher told me that I need to obey my parents, as well as listen to what God said. My parents answer was..."wait". I was thinking, "how long will that be? Till im old?" Ha, I can say...I didn't have to wait long, and no, im not old. A year I had to wait. A year...God has done so much in my life this past year. He defiantly has been molding me and shaping me for what He has for me in the future. Looking back to what God has done to prepare me for what lies ahead, I wouldn't change. Has everything been easy? NO.  But who said the Christian life was going to be easy? 

I can't to see how God is going to use me at HAC! I can't wait to see how God is going to use HAC in my life! Through this next chapter in my life, I want God to continue to mold me and shape me for His perfect. Through this next chapter in life, I want to get to know my Lord on a higher level. Dont we serve and have an amazing Lord? Hyles-Anderson College, HERE I COME!!!!!