"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
 Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength:" Isaiah 26:3-4

I guess what Im about share may at first contradict what the verse above says...I want to share my heart just a little bit right now and whats going on in my spiritual life. Im not saying what I am about to say to be like, "Hey look at me...im going through a rough spiritual time." No, in fact, Im hoping this may actually be a blessing.

 

As Christians, we all struggle with our Spiritual life...I know I do. We all struggle with different things. Some may struggle with having a walk with God, and having that connection with Him. Some may struggle in he area of getting Gods Word out to others. Some may stuggle with the growth in their Christian life.

 

Have you ever just not cared about the things of the Lord? You see your Bible sitting there on the dresser and you know you need to read it, but you purposely don't read it?  Yes, that's me. Thats been me for about a month.  I know I need to do something...but...I just have "given up". But, have I really? If I have "given up" why do I everyday say in the back of my head, "Cassie don't forget to read your Bible" I said I don't care right?? But I must.

 

I know that I am saved. I know that God has done so many things for me in my life that I just dont deserve. You may say then, "Cassie how can you have a "cold heart" if you know God is there for you and loves you?" Ask yourself that question the next time you go through a situation like this. Ask yourself that question the next time you say to God, "God, dont you hear me? Your not listening..Are you there?"

 

My hearts desire, even though Im in a spiritual down fall (I guess), is to find the Joy and fire for Gods Word like I used to. Ive gotten to the point to where when I hear a message or a chapel message,  I don't hear God speaking to me or I don't feel the Lords presence. Oh how I long for that. I do. I want to see the Lord continue to work in my life. But...in order to do that I must seek the Lord.

 

"When you pull back it is natural to get cold. MAKE yourself read, pray and witness. Do something for others. Don't think of what you are not doing, but pickup where you are and give time to Him. The devil is a liar and a deceiver. Don't listen to his garbage. You will be fine. Take 15 minutes and read. Write down blessings, etc." - Mrs. Jojo Moffit shared this with me tonight. Not just her but many of my friends...They are all right. All I want to do is throw in the towel, and just give up and yet...I can't...

...I have to keep pressing on...I do. I want to take that step, but I can't do it a lone. I need God. I need that PUSH! I want the desire and excitement to go on my bus route and soul win. I want the desire back and joy to read my Bible and spend time with God. I can't looking at the mistakes Ive made...i can't keep dwelling on what I have or have not done...I can't do it because it keeps pushing me farther and farther down.

I can't and I won't...I am determining now that I have to keep pressing on and looking to God. I need the Lord in my life. HE has brought me this far, and He will carry me on. Im reaching out my hand to Him. What's in the past is in the past. I just want to please the LORD. I really do. So," Satan, i need you to get out of my life and get the snot out of here. I hate you." God has been good. He has given me a wonderful family, wonderful church, wonderful friends, a good life. God has given me so much to be thankful for.

If you ar reading this, please pray that I will continue to keep my eyes on the Lord, and to follow His leading and guidance. I want God to continue to use me for His glory and honor. I want CHRIST TO BE NUMBER ONE IN MY LIFE FOR NOW ON.
 

All Along...Gods Hands Have Been Guiding Me

Hyles-Anderson College

I can't believe it!!! In just 17 more days, I will be stepping onto campus as a second semester freshman at Hyles-Anderson College! I have to say, there defiantly have been a lot of emotions going on for me. At first I'm super excited, then I get a little nervous, then back to excited...As you can see, its mixed emotions! Ha! Just here recently, the feeling and emotion of, "Cassie, you have 17 days left" have really made me...sad...Ha, I don't know why. But its okay to feel that way, as long as we (I) don't dwell on that one feeling!

Hyles-Anderson College...I remember three years ago (2009) when my parents told me that I wouldn't be going back to Bob Jones University for my schooling. I was upset and was determined to go back, no matter what it took. You want to know what I learned from that experience? When God isn't in it, your not going anywhere.It took me a few months, but I finally accepted the fact that it wasn't Gods will for me to go back there. In the mean time, I had church family come up to me and say, "hey maybe you should attend Hyles-Anderson College (HAC)." When people would say that, I would smile and say, "maybe..." and in the inside, I was saying "I will never go there. I don't want to go where everyone else is going. People there are so stuck up..." Funny thing is, I was judging the school, before I ever got there...

I remember how God began working in my heart in 2010 about the school. I remember a guy preaching at our church, and the whole time He is preaching God was asking me, "are you going to give me all of you?" I kept thinking in my head, "what are you talking about..." As I sat through the message, Hyles-Anderson kept going through my head. It was like God trying to ask me and He was, "So if I called you to that school will you go?" Well...in 17 days, I am happy to say I will be a student there. God has defiantly brought me through a lot to show me that this is where He wants me to go. I remember back in 2011 having a meeting with my Sunday school teacher about going to college and what I need to do. He told me to write down a few colleges, pray about it and then come back to him. Ha, what do you think I did? I put HAC on the bottom and Bob Jones up on the top. I thought if HAC was on the bottom that God would never call me there...Well, in the same time as all of this is happening, a family in my church invited me to attend their sons graduation with them. Where? Hyles-Anderson College. I was about to give a lame excuse why I couldn't go, but instead, I prayed..."Lord if I am supposed to go, I pray that the people at work will allow me to go." They said, "Yes". That trip opened my eyes, and I knew after that trip that God wanted me there. The night of my friends graduation, I remember sitting i my seat watching them graduate and tears rolling down my face. In my head I began to pray, "Lord, I know this is where you want me. I am yours and I will go". I remember coming home and telling my preacher and how excited He was for me!!!

I wanted to go to school that fall ('11). I again tried to do everything in my power to get myself there, and nothing was going right. I was sad and depressed. I was confused and always worrying. I remember talking with my preacher and parents. My preacher told me that I need to obey my parents, as well as listen to what God said. My parents answer was..."wait". I was thinking, "how long will that be? Till im old?" Ha, I can say...I didn't have to wait long, and no, im not old. A year I had to wait. A year...God has done so much in my life this past year. He defiantly has been molding me and shaping me for what He has for me in the future. Looking back to what God has done to prepare me for what lies ahead, I wouldn't change. Has everything been easy? NO.  But who said the Christian life was going to be easy? 

I can't to see how God is going to use me at HAC! I can't wait to see how God is going to use HAC in my life! Through this next chapter in my life, I want God to continue to mold me and shape me for His perfect. Through this next chapter in life, I want to get to know my Lord on a higher level. Dont we serve and have an amazing Lord? Hyles-Anderson College, HERE I COME!!!!!

"...And be content with such things as ye have:..."

"...and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5

"What am I supposed to be doing today? Whats going on tomorrow? Whens my next appointment? What is that? When? Who? What?" Questions and thoughts can consume a persons mind sometimes. Oh I know for myself that once I have something on my mind, its hard for me to forget and to get it off. A prime example is this morning. I went to bed with a lot of things going on in my mind. I fell asleep thinking about it, and when I woke up, I was still thinking about everything that's going on around me, and in my life, and what I need to be doing, and whats going on in this persons life and how I wished I was already "moved on" in my life (married...found that special someone), and I just became overwhelmed and I sat there crying. I didn't know what to do, but to talk with the Lord. I told Him that I cant be waking up with thoughts and things of the future, and letting it overwhelm me. It's not necessary and its a waste of time. Why? Because God has me here right now, doing what He wants for me to be doing. I know I have said this in my last few blogs, but its so easy for me, for us, as humans to want what other people have. It is.

I want to move on with life and see what God has for me this coming year and so forth...BUT...I ask myself, "Why?" If God were to answer that prayer, I would miss on what God has for me now...today! As I sit here and type this, I am reminded that everyday is a new day, and how can God use me in this new day? I told God this morning as I sat there in bed looking out the window toward the sky, "Lord what would you have me do today?" I was listening to a song yesterday called "Grace", and the first part of the stanza says, "Lord, as I seek your guidance for today, I find my thoughts unyielding, confusion clouds my way, but then when I turn to you, the challenges you guide me through, Your promises are ever new, I give it all to you." Today is a new day like I said, and God must guide me through today, and I must let Him. How Lord can you use me today? Not tomorrow, not next week, but the day I am in today.

Philippians4:11 says, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." That is a verse that I am still working on. Being content no matter what others may have, but being thankful for what the Lord has given me. Being thankful for what He is doing in my life. I don't know about you, but I want God to use me in anyway that He can. I want to always keep my focus on the  Lord. I am a child of God and still a work in progress. I want to grow so much closer in the Lord. I want to glorify and honor the Lord with all of my heart. Have I accomplished that? No. But Im learning. The Christian life as I see it and as I know, entails a lot of learning. But with learning, comes growing, and that is what I want to do. Lord, help me to be content no matter what state I am.

"...and be content with such things as ye have:..." Hebrews 13:5

"It's Been A Long Journey, But I Have Been Blessed..."

"It's Been A Long Journey..."

The month of October... is the month where things started to change for me in my life...trials and situations I never once saw heading down my path, had entered in...The month of October...I went through a rough patch of depression, not wanting to eat, lack of sleep, alot of frustration and anger...things...things just weren't the same...

On October 6th - I lost my job that I had been working at for two and a half years. Oh, me loosing my job that day, and during that week, just was not right. I was already going through a rough week, and I really didn't need that to be added to my plate...or did I? I remember after finding out that I had lost my job, me asking myself,"So what am I going to do now? What am I supposed to do?" The one place where I knew God wanted me to be, had been taken away...I felt lost and confused. I won't lie to you, I was very upset at God. That whole week I spent every night crying and asking God, "What are you trying to teach me?? Do you even hear me? If you do, you sure aren't answering me..."

Friends kept telling me, "Its going to be okay. You are going to make it through this week. You can do it!" I knew I was going to make it through the week...that was something I knew, but how? I wasn't sure. Everything that was going on, was definitely taking a toll on me, and loosing my job at the end of the week, definitely didn't help. The following Monday, my mom told me that we needed to go out and job search. I was not going to have that. I wanted to morn over the fact that I had lost my job. Silly? Yes.My mom kept telling me how I needed to grow up, and that this has happened to a lot of people not just me. I kept trying to convince my mom that I wasn't everybody else, but just Cassie Miller. I put up a fight...oh I did.

What was I so afraid of about going to different places and looking for a job? Ill tell you in one word: REJECTION! Being told, "I'm sorry, we don't have any jobs for you right now." Every time I heard that, I thought to myself, "Well If I was still at the bank, I wouldn't have to deal with this..." But the fact was, I know longer would be working at the bank, and God has a different plan for me!

"...But I Have Been Blessed..."

The month of October was probably one of the hardest months for me. But what did I learn that month of October when everything just wasn't going the way that I liked to have it go? What did I learn through the sleepless nights? Nights where I would cry myself asleep? These are lessons that I am still learning, but am very glad that I am.

Psalm 37:23-24 says,"The steps of a good man are orderd by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand." Man...to know that my Lord IS with me no matter what I go through and that He IS right here next to me through every trial and situation that I go through, is so comforting. And yet sometimes when a trial or situation does come, I find myself so wrapped in it, that I forget His promises.

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." That week I found myself constantly calling out to the Lord, and asking Him to help me. I knew I couldn't make it through the day unless He was there to guide me through it.

Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." I found myself throughout the week, quoting this verse. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I knew that all that was going on, was God molding me, and shaping me into His image. Yes, the situation and trials weren't good, but to know that my Lord was using it for His glory and honor, and to help me look to Him and just trust Him, was well worth it, and still is.

Well all face trials and tribulations everyday. I still am. But to know that I have the Lord on my side, and Hes with me each step of the way, its comforting. I still am looking for a job, but God has blessed me with a little part time job that doesn't pay a lot, but it helps. I also sometimes forget how He has blessed me with 6 piano students as well! So, I must keep doing what God has for me, and not give in or up! Even though its been a long journey, God has sure blessed me!

I Have Been Blessed!

Man, it has been a long time since I've last blogged. A lot has been going on in my life, and to be quite honest, I am not even sure where to begin. You know it's so easy, well for me, I find it so easy to focus on what I don't have, then what God has put right in front of me. I find it easy to say, "I wish I had this" or "I envy you because...". I focus on what I want, rather than asking God, "God what would you have me to do?" or "God, how can I serve you today?" My mind is always going to the future...not like in tomorrow, but as in "where am I going to be in the fall? Here in North Carolina or away at college?" or  "What is Gods plan for me in the future? A husband, a family?" I'm always reminded that I shouldn't worry about tomorrow, but focus on what God has for me right now.

So what...what is that God has for me right now? He has blessed me with a great church, where I am able to use my talents that He has given me to serve Him. You know, If I was away at college right now, I wouldn't be able to play piano for Patch the Pirate club, or play Preludes, play for the nursing home, work in the nursery, help serve at Bailey's Grove Baptist School and so much more. It's so easy to get side tract...so easy...but when you can serve the Lord, man what a blessing. Sometimes I need to step back and regain my focus, and remind myself why did God make me? He made me, so I can serve Him, and be a light for Him, to glorify Him. Ha, how can I serve the Lord, when my eyes are on myself?

God has a perfect plan for my life and He already knows what lies ahead and I need to trust Him and rely on Him. He doesn't give me anything that I can't handle, and I have to remind myself of that. It's good to know that no matter what I go through, that the Lord is always there for me. Psalm 37:23-24 says,"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not utterly be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand." It's so good to know that God is with me no matter what I go through, where I am at, what I am doing, what I am going through!

Trust in the Lord

Well, this week has been a very good week for me, and I know it's because of the Lord. God has been teaching me a lot this past week, but the one main thing that had seem to keep coming up, is thought of trusting. Trusting what? This week He has reminded me, of how important it is to trust in Him, the Lord, and how important it is to trust His Word.

Last Friday, Saturday and Sunday at my church, we had Prayer School (which is learning great tips and lessons, on how to pray and have a better prayer life.) Wow...it was so good! I was reminded of how important it is, to have that special time with MY LORD!! Each day, is so sweet! The song My Quiet Time Alone (by Ron Hamilton), starts off like this: ""Before I start each day, there is a special place I love to go alone and seek my Savior's face: I find wisdom in His Word to instruct me in His will, And I hear His gentle voice say, "My child be still." My quiet time alone gives me power to obey, My quiet time alone with God each day. I talk to Him in prayer; ev'ry day He meets me there, My quiet time alone with God." How true! I enjoy getting on my knees, bowing before Him and just talking to Him, and hearing what He has to say!


 Ha, this is kind of personal, but when I am about to start my devotions, I ask the Lord, "Are you ready for our date?" You've heard of people having "Date Nights" right? Some people have it on just one day of the week, and some people have it maybe more than just one day of the week. BUT...I love having "Date Nights", every day with my Lord. There is no dressing up fancy or anything like that. He simply tells me, to come just as I am. The spiritual food this week, the fellowship this week...oh has been amazing. Why do we eat? So we can get nourishment for the day, and the Lord has been really been giving me the spiritual nourishment I need each day. I'm not going to lie, each day, I can't wait to spend that special time with my Lord. Now I am not saying that this week has been 100% perfect, because it hasn't. I have definitely had some down times. But being able to apply what I have been learning in my devotions, and taking time to pray to the Lord, has been a huge blessing.
 
So, let me ask you? How has your walk with God been, and how has your prayer life been this past week? Have you been spending time with the Lord? If not, I would encourage you!
 
"O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry, Everything to God in prayer."

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

We all know the song, "I Have decided to Follow Jesus". It goes:

"I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.

Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back."

As I was on my way home from Soul Winning, I was listening to some of my favorite hymns, when this song came on. After the first time listening to it, I replayed it back, and started listening to the words, and applying it to my life. I started thinking back to a conversation I had tonight with a friend, and how I was talking about my life and the different things that were going on. She said to me, "Cassie, you've got a lot going on right now." I kinda laughed inside, and I said to her, "I'm not a busy person..." In reality, I am. GOD, yes God has blessed me, and has allowed me to do so much. In my church...man oh man...He has allowed me to be part of the Music Ministry, and Nursing Home Ministry and many other things. Yes, these are only a few that are listed, but man, there is a lot involved. Now, I'm not complaining. Yes, sometimes it is overwhelming, but..."I have decided to follow Jesus... no turning back....." Yes, there is a lot going on in my life and in my family, but..."I have decided to follow  Jesus....no turning back..."

I thought to myself on my way home, "man the day that I accepted Jesus into my life, is the day I said, "Lord, here's my life, do what you will." Or in other words, "Lord, I will follow you." Like the last part of the song says, "no turning back." I thought about the things that are going on in my life, and I asked the Lord to help me keep my eyes forward and on Him. I asked Christ to help me to do my best, in what He has for me now, and what He is allowing me to. In Patch the Pirate Club, in nursery, in choir, teaching my piano students, play offertory's, helping out with my Sunday school class, while playing prelude for church, at my job, and at home...I want God to be magnified and lifted up. Sometimes...I do fail. But God...Hes right there and Hes telling me not to let "failure" get me down, but to keep on going.
 
In my devotions today, I was reading in Matthew 11:28-30 and it says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Man, how reassuring was, and is that verse to me. No matter what I go through, I can turn to Him and lean on Him! I want to be so much closer to the Lord. I want Him to continue to use, and I want all the praise to go to Him. So how about you? What does the phrase, "I have decided to follow Jesus...no turning back...." mean to you?

"...And He Holds My Hand."

This weekend has been really good. I have definitely been enjoying my four day weekend :0) On Saturday, (September 3), some of my sunday school class (Connections Adult Bible Class) and I, went class/prospect visiting. Man, that was one of the most amazing times I have had. God used some of the people we met, to be a hug blessing to me. While we were out visiting, and as we were talking to certain people, I was reminded of how we all go through hard times, trials, and even struggles in our lives. I know that in my own personal life, when trials do come down my path, I sometimes let it have "control" over my life, instead of letting the Lord have control.

I know in my life when things get crazy, I start to question God. "God what in the world is going on? Why is this or that happening? Do you even know what you are doing?" I was reminded on Saturday morning of what God says in Psalm 139. Psalm 139:1-4 says, "O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it." This verse was a great reminder that He, Jesus Christ knows me, and He knows everything that is and is going to happen in my life. All He wants me to do is trust Him. (Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.")

Now I am not saying that when trials and tribulation happen in my life I handle it the right way, because I don't. I don't handle things like that too well, but I want to and I try. I can't make it on my own, relying on my own strenght. Why? Bcause my own strength fails me. Like Ive been learning, and still will be learning, I can only make it through the valleys and trials, with the Lord. In Hebrews I am reminded that He never leaves me, nor forsakes me. He is always there for me. I just...just have to call upon His name. Its amazing to feel Gods presence!

Well, I just wanted to share that with you all! Have a great day!

"Fake It, Till You Make It"

This week, the phrase "fake it till you make it" has come up repeatedly in my mind. "Fake it till you make it"...I kept asking myself, "what does that mean to me?" This week has had its ups and down. One day I'm feeling great...and the next day, not so great. You all know what I am talking about. I'm sure we have all had one of these days, if not many. But, how do we handle the "not so great days." How do I handle those days? In my life, its so easy to become stressed out, about a bad day. Its so easy for me to get frustrated and upset about things that aren't going my way.  But that's where the phrase "fake it till you make it" comes in.

Isaiah 40:31 says, "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint." Constantly this week, I was reminded of this verse. It was, and still is, a great reminder to me, that when I am having a "not so great day", that I can turn to my Heavenly Father, and ask Him to help me get through the day. Let me tell you, He is and was there! Those days that started out rough? Didn't get rougher, but better! The days were I might have felt weak tired? He gave me the strength to get through the day.

Ive been saved for almost 11yrs now, and I'm just now understanding, and I'm just still learning, that when things come down my path that I never saw coming, I have a choice on how I can handle it. I can either let the trial and circumstances overwhelm me (which is what I normally do, because I'm human), or I can take that situation, and let God have control. Oh how I was reminded of that this Wednesday. I am a pianist for my church (Bailey's Grove Baptist Church), and this Wednesday, I felt like I had a lot going on with the music. I had to prepare for Patch the Pirate Club, Offertory, Congregational, and Prelude. I'm not going to lie, my mind was overwhelmed. Many times during the day at work, I found myself reviewing my music. I just wanted everything to be ok...As the time got closer to start, I just asked God to take control of the music. I told God I wanted Him to be glorified! What great peace He gave me. As I played for each thing, I knew and I felt Gods presence! Praise the Lord.

So, I guess I want to ask you this question. How do you handle circumstances and trials that may not be seen coming down the road? Do you. (I), stress, freak, let it take control? Or do you, (I), "fake it till you make it" and trust the Lord do get you through. Ha, I am not perfect by any means, and I do struggle with this. But I am learning, and it's amazing! So I challenge you, the next time something comes down your path, "fake it till you make it", and lean on Christ.

Satan, So You Think You Have Won?

The Christian life is full of ups and downs. One day we can be like, "Praise the Lord" and the next day the complete opposite. I think sometimes to myself, "hey Lord, since I'm a Christian now, isnt my life supposed to be easy?" God never said life was going to be easy once we got saved. He told us in His Word that there would be trials and tribulations in our life. Ha, I thought of a small incident that happened today.

Saving money...I am not the best at it, and have a really hard time with it. I am trying to get on the ball with that, with the help of my family and friends. "I am trying to get on the ball.." See that phrase right there. Here I am realizing that I need to start saving money and I take the steps to do so like, opening up a savings account, not spending money where money doesn't need to be spent...Yep, everything is right on track...things are looking up!

(Knock, knock)
Satan knocking at my door.
"I hear everything is going well for you. Saving money finally? Listening to your parents and friends? Well, I don't like that, so here is a broken computer screen where you will need to use money to spend to fix it."
Yep, that happened today. Just when I got home to type something up, the screen cracks. Well not the screen. The plastic part around it. I tried to fix it...just wasn't working, in fact it got worse. Ha! I can laugh now. But 20 minutes ago, I wasn't.

I'm not going to lie, I was a little upset and I was thinking, "where in the world am I going to get the money to fix this?" Well, then it occurred to me, that this was the devil trying to pry his way back in my life and see if he could discourage me. Well, when I realized that, I told Him:
"Hey Satan, you think you have one this battle but you haven't. I see here you broke the outside of my screen, but there ain't nothing like duct tape to keep it together, until I have the money to fix it. So you can go to someone else and bother them, because your not having defeat over me."
I realized as soon as I told him that, there was a huge smile on my face. Yes, my screen is messed up, but there is nothing that tape cant fix. So Satan, you think you have won? I don't think so! For you see, I am on the Lords side and that's the winning side.