"...And be content with such things as ye have:..."

"...and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5

"What am I supposed to be doing today? Whats going on tomorrow? Whens my next appointment? What is that? When? Who? What?" Questions and thoughts can consume a persons mind sometimes. Oh I know for myself that once I have something on my mind, its hard for me to forget and to get it off. A prime example is this morning. I went to bed with a lot of things going on in my mind. I fell asleep thinking about it, and when I woke up, I was still thinking about everything that's going on around me, and in my life, and what I need to be doing, and whats going on in this persons life and how I wished I was already "moved on" in my life (married...found that special someone), and I just became overwhelmed and I sat there crying. I didn't know what to do, but to talk with the Lord. I told Him that I cant be waking up with thoughts and things of the future, and letting it overwhelm me. It's not necessary and its a waste of time. Why? Because God has me here right now, doing what He wants for me to be doing. I know I have said this in my last few blogs, but its so easy for me, for us, as humans to want what other people have. It is.

I want to move on with life and see what God has for me this coming year and so forth...BUT...I ask myself, "Why?" If God were to answer that prayer, I would miss on what God has for me now...today! As I sit here and type this, I am reminded that everyday is a new day, and how can God use me in this new day? I told God this morning as I sat there in bed looking out the window toward the sky, "Lord what would you have me do today?" I was listening to a song yesterday called "Grace", and the first part of the stanza says, "Lord, as I seek your guidance for today, I find my thoughts unyielding, confusion clouds my way, but then when I turn to you, the challenges you guide me through, Your promises are ever new, I give it all to you." Today is a new day like I said, and God must guide me through today, and I must let Him. How Lord can you use me today? Not tomorrow, not next week, but the day I am in today.

Philippians4:11 says, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." That is a verse that I am still working on. Being content no matter what others may have, but being thankful for what the Lord has given me. Being thankful for what He is doing in my life. I don't know about you, but I want God to use me in anyway that He can. I want to always keep my focus on the  Lord. I am a child of God and still a work in progress. I want to grow so much closer in the Lord. I want to glorify and honor the Lord with all of my heart. Have I accomplished that? No. But Im learning. The Christian life as I see it and as I know, entails a lot of learning. But with learning, comes growing, and that is what I want to do. Lord, help me to be content no matter what state I am.

"...and be content with such things as ye have:..." Hebrews 13:5

"It's Been A Long Journey, But I Have Been Blessed..."

"It's Been A Long Journey..."

The month of October... is the month where things started to change for me in my life...trials and situations I never once saw heading down my path, had entered in...The month of October...I went through a rough patch of depression, not wanting to eat, lack of sleep, alot of frustration and anger...things...things just weren't the same...

On October 6th - I lost my job that I had been working at for two and a half years. Oh, me loosing my job that day, and during that week, just was not right. I was already going through a rough week, and I really didn't need that to be added to my plate...or did I? I remember after finding out that I had lost my job, me asking myself,"So what am I going to do now? What am I supposed to do?" The one place where I knew God wanted me to be, had been taken away...I felt lost and confused. I won't lie to you, I was very upset at God. That whole week I spent every night crying and asking God, "What are you trying to teach me?? Do you even hear me? If you do, you sure aren't answering me..."

Friends kept telling me, "Its going to be okay. You are going to make it through this week. You can do it!" I knew I was going to make it through the week...that was something I knew, but how? I wasn't sure. Everything that was going on, was definitely taking a toll on me, and loosing my job at the end of the week, definitely didn't help. The following Monday, my mom told me that we needed to go out and job search. I was not going to have that. I wanted to morn over the fact that I had lost my job. Silly? Yes.My mom kept telling me how I needed to grow up, and that this has happened to a lot of people not just me. I kept trying to convince my mom that I wasn't everybody else, but just Cassie Miller. I put up a fight...oh I did.

What was I so afraid of about going to different places and looking for a job? Ill tell you in one word: REJECTION! Being told, "I'm sorry, we don't have any jobs for you right now." Every time I heard that, I thought to myself, "Well If I was still at the bank, I wouldn't have to deal with this..." But the fact was, I know longer would be working at the bank, and God has a different plan for me!

"...But I Have Been Blessed..."

The month of October was probably one of the hardest months for me. But what did I learn that month of October when everything just wasn't going the way that I liked to have it go? What did I learn through the sleepless nights? Nights where I would cry myself asleep? These are lessons that I am still learning, but am very glad that I am.

Psalm 37:23-24 says,"The steps of a good man are orderd by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand." Man...to know that my Lord IS with me no matter what I go through and that He IS right here next to me through every trial and situation that I go through, is so comforting. And yet sometimes when a trial or situation does come, I find myself so wrapped in it, that I forget His promises.

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." That week I found myself constantly calling out to the Lord, and asking Him to help me. I knew I couldn't make it through the day unless He was there to guide me through it.

Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." I found myself throughout the week, quoting this verse. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I knew that all that was going on, was God molding me, and shaping me into His image. Yes, the situation and trials weren't good, but to know that my Lord was using it for His glory and honor, and to help me look to Him and just trust Him, was well worth it, and still is.

Well all face trials and tribulations everyday. I still am. But to know that I have the Lord on my side, and Hes with me each step of the way, its comforting. I still am looking for a job, but God has blessed me with a little part time job that doesn't pay a lot, but it helps. I also sometimes forget how He has blessed me with 6 piano students as well! So, I must keep doing what God has for me, and not give in or up! Even though its been a long journey, God has sure blessed me!

I Have Been Blessed!

Man, it has been a long time since I've last blogged. A lot has been going on in my life, and to be quite honest, I am not even sure where to begin. You know it's so easy, well for me, I find it so easy to focus on what I don't have, then what God has put right in front of me. I find it easy to say, "I wish I had this" or "I envy you because...". I focus on what I want, rather than asking God, "God what would you have me to do?" or "God, how can I serve you today?" My mind is always going to the future...not like in tomorrow, but as in "where am I going to be in the fall? Here in North Carolina or away at college?" or  "What is Gods plan for me in the future? A husband, a family?" I'm always reminded that I shouldn't worry about tomorrow, but focus on what God has for me right now.

So what...what is that God has for me right now? He has blessed me with a great church, where I am able to use my talents that He has given me to serve Him. You know, If I was away at college right now, I wouldn't be able to play piano for Patch the Pirate club, or play Preludes, play for the nursing home, work in the nursery, help serve at Bailey's Grove Baptist School and so much more. It's so easy to get side tract...so easy...but when you can serve the Lord, man what a blessing. Sometimes I need to step back and regain my focus, and remind myself why did God make me? He made me, so I can serve Him, and be a light for Him, to glorify Him. Ha, how can I serve the Lord, when my eyes are on myself?

God has a perfect plan for my life and He already knows what lies ahead and I need to trust Him and rely on Him. He doesn't give me anything that I can't handle, and I have to remind myself of that. It's good to know that no matter what I go through, that the Lord is always there for me. Psalm 37:23-24 says,"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not utterly be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand." It's so good to know that God is with me no matter what I go through, where I am at, what I am doing, what I am going through!